|Girl:||"Honey I'm pregnant"|
|Guy:||"Hello pregnant", his preparation had finally come to fruition, "I'm dad"|
IF YOU DIDN’T THINK LORD FARQUAAD FROM SHREK WAS THE CREEPIEST THING YOU’VE EVER SEEN YOU’RE LYING TO YOURSELF
LORD FARQUAAD MORE LIKE LORD WHATTHEFUCKWHYWOULDTHEANIMATORSTHINKTHISISOKAYFORAKIDSMOVIEJESUS
wait a minute, is his name meant to be fuckwad
twitter fans and tumblr fans are like two different species
imagine getting a tattoo and then hearing the tattoo artist going like “oops”
My artist said ‘oh shit’ once while needle-deep in my arm but all she’d done was nudge the table and knock a little thing of bright blue ink all over her black trousers and stained them permanently.
"Its all been leading to this…."
Ident Interruption 2 [X]
"what music do you like?"
TH ….UM .. . (SHUFFLES AROUND IN POCKET AND RETRIEVES A 10 MILE LONG LIST) UUH. .. . (STUTTERING) THT… TT..HE…..UUU H…..
HOW DO CALCULATORS WORK WE INVENTED THEM WHY ARE THEY SMARTER THAN US